did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
