Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
