So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
