I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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