He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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