so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
