i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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