what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
