May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
