Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
