They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
