he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
