Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
