i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
