that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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