If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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