My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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