I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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