so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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