Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
