I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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