Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
