Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
