is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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