The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
