Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
