I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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