Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
