Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
COCAINE IS GR8
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
