I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize