You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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