my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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