Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
