I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You took a bar mat shot.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
