she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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