i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
