just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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