It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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