But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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