Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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