Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize