What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
