Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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