Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This is classic penis vs brain.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
