I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
