Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Bring me that man meat
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
