I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
