i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize