plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
