would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
