I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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