Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her

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(716): View more from New York

he got a rim job in the basement.

(716): View more from New York

apparently i was the one who gave it to him.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.

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(281): View more from Texas

I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.

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(515): View more from Iowa

In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.

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(706): View more from Georgia

He could stay over, if you'd just ask.

(912): View more from Georgia

Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"

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(206): View more from Washington

True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock

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(757): View more from Virginia

the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself

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(941): View more from Florida

I will not abuse the gift that was given to me

(954): View more from Florida

You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard

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