I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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