I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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