Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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