just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
