Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
