Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
