When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
