I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He shit in the fireplace
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
