my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
