Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
