i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize