you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
