I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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