Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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