No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
