Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
