Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
