dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
