wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
