therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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